List of Perennial, Generic News Stories

I was thinking of that Simpsons gag in the episode Bart Gets an Elephant where the radio station manager threatens the DJs with replacement by an automated DJ machine. The electronic DJ quips, "Looks like those clowns in Congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns." and the credulous human DJ says, "How does he keep up with the news like that?" It made me want to compile a list of perennial, evergreen news stories.

• “Kids today don’t respect their elders.”
• “Young people don’t want to work anymore.”
• “Parents are too permissive these days.”
• “Schools aren’t teaching basic skills anymore.”
• “College isn’t worth what it costs.”
• “Nobody knows how to have a conversation anymore.”
• “Technology is making us less social.”
• “Phones are destroying attention spans.”
• “Social media is making people lonelier.”
• “Dating is harder than it used to be.”
• “Modern dating has killed romance.”
• “People are getting married too late.”
• “People don’t know their neighbors anymore.”
• “Community ties are disappearing.”
• “Customer service isn’t what it used to be.”
• “People have forgotten basic manners.”
• “Drivers are getting worse.”
• “Road rage is getting worse.”
• “Air travel has become unbearable.”
• “Everything is getting more expensive.”
• “The middle class is being squeezed.”
• “Young adults can’t afford homes.”
• “People aren’t saving enough for retirement.”
• “Americans are drowning in debt.”
• “Workers are burned out.”
• “Meetings are wasting everyone’s time.”
• “Employers can’t find qualified workers.”
• “Employees are quitting because of bad bosses.”
• “Degrees don’t prepare graduates for the workplace.”
• “There’s a shortage of skilled tradespeople.”
• “Nobody wants to repair things anymore.”
• “Products aren’t made to last.”
• “Companies are shrinking products while charging more.”
• “Scammers are getting more sophisticated.”
• “Robocalls are out of control.”
• “Privacy is disappearing.”
• “Advertising is becoming more intrusive.”
• “News audiences don’t trust the media.”
• “Political discourse is becoming less civil.”
• “People are increasingly divided.”
• “Americans are moving away from organized religion.”
• “People are having fewer children.”
• “Families don’t eat together anymore.”
• “Children spend too little time outdoors.”
• “Adults aren’t getting enough sleep.”
• “People don’t exercise enough.”
• “Everyone is too stressed.”
• “People are more lonely than ever.”
• “Obesity is becoming a bigger problem.”
• “Nobody cooks from scratch anymore.”
• “People waste too much food.”
• “Pets are increasingly treated like children.”
• “Handwriting is disappearing.”
• “Nobody reads books anymore.”
• “Students are getting worse at writing.”
• “General knowledge is declining.”
• “Popular music isn’t as good as it used to be.”
• “Movies have too many sequels and remakes.”
• “Celebrity culture has gone too far.”
• “Downtowns are dying.”
• “Small businesses are being squeezed out.”
• “Traffic keeps getting worse.”
• “Public transit is unreliable.”
• “Housing is becoming unaffordable.”
• “People are leaving big cities.”
• “People are returning to big cities.”
• “Americans are moving to cheaper states.”
• “Rural communities are being left behind.”
• “Package theft is becoming a bigger problem.”
• “Homeowners can’t find reliable contractors.”
• “Consumers are paying for subscriptions they forgot about.”
• “People have too much stuff.”
• “Decluttering has become a necessity.”